The Blind Side, by Michael Lewis

The Most Bizarre Story of the Year

Chuck_norris The cover shown with this post is not a joke.  It's a real book entitled The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 Facts About the World's Greatest Human.  I hadn't heard about this one till I read this news story from Reuters today.  Thinking it was a novelty title few people had heard about, I looked it up on Amazon and was stunned to see it is currently ranked #86 for all books!

Walker, Texas Ranger only exists in the land of reruns but the world is apparently infatuated with "mythical facts" about the show's star.  I could see this working as a website or an article in Mad magazine, but a book?!  All year long we've been hearing that fewer and fewer adults are reading books.  Shouldn't we be equally disturbed that one like this is doing so well?  I love sarcasm and humor as much as the next guy, but who's buying this crap?!

P.S. -- I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.  After all, I see The Secret is still in the top 25 on Amazon!  Wow.  P.T. Barnum was right.


Michael Puhala

It never ceases to amaze why certain books get mass appeal like The Secret. It just goes to show that marketing goes a long way to contribute to a book's success. Marketing followed by herd mentality makes for a powerful duo.

Anthony S. Policastro

I am also amazed at the books that get into print and become successful. It's all in the marketing and the hype and it seems that once an author, an actor, a politician is branded as popular the hype takes on a life of its own and self generates over and over.
An editor of one of the major NY publishing houses was asked how they know a book is going to be a best seller. She said, "We buy it" meaning they purposely make it a best seller with promotion and hype.

Fran Toolan

Hey Joe, having a couple of young Chuck Norris fans in my house, I've known about this one for a while. The big push on this book was related to Norris fighting it, and his political activities vis-a-vis Mike Huckabee. As for 'The Secret', even insiders at S&S shake their heads at that one!

I guess it goes to show that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'.

Simon Owens

This is probably just a spin-off of the popular meme about Chuck Norris. Here are a few goodies:

On the 7th day, God rested.... Chuck Norris took over.

If paper beats rock, and rock beats scissors, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris carries a man bag. If you call it a purse, he pulls a baby out of the bag and throws it at you. The baby will blow up upon impact.

When Chuck Norris was denied a Bacon McMuffin at McDonalds because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful; it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye.

The sun doesn't actually rise or set. Chuck Norris simply claps twice.

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany.

Chuck Norris can cut onions without crying.

Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

In one episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Chuck Norris replaced Carlton for one scene and nobody noticed.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a get out of jail free monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green number 4 card from the game Uno.

Before email was invented Chuck Norris would attach messages to kittens and roundhouse kick them.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "BOOYA".

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said "holy shit, it's Chuck Norris," then had sex with him. At that point, she was the 3rd woman he had slept with.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir." That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

When Neil Armstrong uttered "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." on the moon in 1969, he failed to notice Chuck Norris sitting behind him in a lawnchair, a beer in hand, until Chuck Norris gave Armstrong a swift roundhouse kick to the face. Armstrong never returned.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

When you see a handicapped parking space, it does not mean this space is for handicapped people. it means it is for chuck norris, and that is what happens to you if you park there.

Al Gore might have invented the internet... but Chuck Norris invented Al Gore.

In order to survive a nuclear attack, you must remember to stop, drop, and be Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

Oxygen requires Chuck Norris to live.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. EVER.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Where's Waldo? He's hiding from Chuck Norris.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.


Was there even a big marketing push for this book? I've only heard about it through word-of-mouth. It has a horrible cover and was a paperback original. It seems like it was printed as a side note but the public has taken a shine to it. And it's no wonder....I can give it to my 20 year old brother, 50 year old dad, and even my 70 year old grandma and everyone loves it (who all, by the way, are voracious readers).

Diana Symons

Got a copy of The Secret for Christmas. I still don't get it. In fact it bothers me so much, it might actually be one of those books that I throw in the garbage can. Is that wrong?

Joe Wikert

Diana, no, that's not wrong. The concept behind "The Secret" is pure garbage so why not toss it into the garbage?

David A. Zimmerman

There was a parallel viral joke going around about 24's Jack Bauer; I don't think that's translated into a book yet. But I interpret this as an ironic youth culture's current best commentary on the current Cult of Macho Americana. Chuck Norris is a better icon of the Bush Doctrine, redemptive violence and lone-wolf determinism than Jack Bauer because Chuck's got that cheesy mustache and the low production values of Walker Texas Ranger in his corner.

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